Sorry friend, this ain’t your fountain of youth. Maybe you’ve heard about collagen before. Maybe you know someone who spent too much money on a collagen face cream. Collagen is a type of protein in your body necessary to hold cells together, so, yes, it is important for holding your face together in a firm, elastic kind of way. However, collagen is a very big protein. So big that it cannot just diffuse through your skin and start holding all your skin cells together like some happy non-wrinkling family. So if you bought it as a face cream, you wasted your money. If you want more collagen in your skin, you’d either have to inject it or eat it, and the latter seems way more enjoyable to me. Try some meat, soy, nuts, quinoa, whatever foods contain all the essential amino acids (protein-building blocks) you’d need to straight up make your own collagen. Vitamin C would be useful here too, to build collagen and thus prevent scurvy, world’s grossest loss-of-collagen disease. (google scurvy if you want to see someone’s gums lose the connective tissue necessary to keep their blood vessels from oozing blood. Blek.) Retinol is another cream promoted for it’s ability to promote skin cell growth. It’s a form of Vitamin A, and it is actually able to absorb into your skin. An easier way to get your daily dose of retinol for optimal skin health is to eat vitamin A-rich foods like leafy greens, orange and red fruits and veggies, and meat. So there you have it. The fountain of youth is not a face cream, but instead a healthy mix of non-processed foods. Just don’t eat like a jerk and you’re gonna look great, kid.

Sorry friend, this ain’t your fountain of youth.


Maybe you’ve heard about collagen before. Maybe you know someone who spent too much money on a collagen face cream. Collagen is a type of protein in your body necessary to hold cells together, so, yes, it is important for holding your face together in a firm, elastic kind of way.


However, collagen is a very big protein. So big that it cannot just diffuse through your skin and start holding all your skin cells together like some happy non-wrinkling family. So if you bought it as a face cream, you wasted your money. If you want more collagen in your skin, you’d either have to inject it or eat it, and the latter seems way more enjoyable to me. Try some meat, soy, nuts, quinoa, whatever foods contain all the essential amino acids (protein-building blocks) you’d need to straight up make your own collagen. Vitamin C would be useful here too, to build collagen and thus prevent scurvy, world’s grossest loss-of-collagen disease. (google scurvy if you want to see someone’s gums lose the connective tissue necessary to keep their blood vessels from oozing blood. Blek.)


Retinol is another cream promoted for it’s ability to promote skin cell growth. It’s a form of Vitamin A, and it is actually able to absorb into your skin. An easier way to get your daily dose of retinol for optimal skin health is to eat vitamin A-rich foods like leafy greens, orange and red fruits and veggies, and meat.


So there you have it. The fountain of youth is not a face cream, but instead a healthy mix of non-processed foods. Just don’t eat like a jerk and you’re gonna look great, kid.